3 Practical Ways To Practice Poise & Deportment
Poise is about how we present ourselves. Our style, hair, make-up, and grooming are important aspects of the way we look.
But, there are other aspects that influence the way that others see us. Deportment is defined as the way a person behaves, stands, or moves.
In this post, I will be going over 5 ways that we can work on our poise and deportment.
1. POSTURE
Posture is a physical way that people can see our poise. Notice if you are sitting up straight. Notice if you are sitting hunched over. What I have found is, when we do not work on our core strengths, it is much easier for us to sit over slumped in our chairs.
Furthermore, if you are looking to correct your posture, try to push or roll your shoulders back. Whilst you roll your shoulders back, notice if your shoulders are also tucked right up into your ears.
Often we go through our day-to-day so stressed, we do not realise that our shoulders are practically up by our ears. And we also do not realise that we are clenching our jaws at the same time.
If this is something that you just cannot subconsciously kick, there are braces that you can wear. The Queen has been known to wear one in her older years.
Equally, I love wearing a waist-trainer from time to time. This reminds me to strengthen my core, and sit up straight.
2. WALKING
Can we hear your steps coming from miles away? Being heavy-footed is not the most feminine of traits, and it won't leave you in a very poised manner either.
Are you able to walk in heels? Or does this need some work? There should be no shame in needing to practice this before you wear your new shoes out. Wouldn't you rather practice, and be prepared... than look like you are walking with two left feet?
There are many videos on YouTube that will instruct you how to do this effectively.
Pro tip: If you are struggling to walk in your heels, why not try wearing a heel with a lower heel height? You can still find brands that are tres chic, and come in a lower heel height.
I love the brand Sarah Flint, perhaps you would like it too?
3. MANNERS
Some may think that in the year 2022, who actually cares about manners. But this is actually quite a diverse topic.
We can dive quite deep on this topic, however, let's start with the basics.
Ask yourself the following questions:
1. How do I behave towards others?
2. Do I ignore people?
3. Do I make people feel small?
These are some basic questions in regards to manners. However, we can look at most areas of our life, and ask if we are performing proper manners, and or Etiquette.
This past year, I have read two books on the topic of Etiquette. Both by Myka Meier, and they were wonderful.
“Myka Meier proudly opened Beaumont Etiquette to bring a fresh and modern perspective to the industry. Breaking down the stereotype that etiquette is perceived as outdated or inaccessible, Myka designed innovative and empowering etiquette courses with a modern spin — that are not intimidating to learn.
A dual American and British citizen, Myka is a consultant specializing in international social and business etiquette and protocol. Myka studied at multiple traditional etiquette schools in the United Kingdom and trained in London under a former member of The Royal Household of Her Majesty the Queen. Furthermore, Myka attended finishing school in Switzerland and has been formally trained in Continental European, British and American etiquette.
With a degree in communications and over 10 years experience in the luxury, lifestyle and fashion markets, Myka worked in both New York and London focusing on integrated communications, and has two years experience working on a global endeavor initiated by its patron, His Royal Highness The Prince of Wales.
Myka co-founded The Plaza Hotel Finishing Program with Beaumont Etiquette in 2016. Beaumont Etiquette became an official etiquette partner of the Downton Abbey: The Exhibition in 2018. In 2019, Myka co-founded the Beaumont Training Group for corporate training needs.
The author of two books including Modern Etiquette Made Easy and Business Etiquette Made Easy, Myka is available to travel nationally or internationally for consultation and speaking engagements.
An avid volunteer for charities which promote confidence and teach both social and work skills in underprivileged communities, Myka resides in New York with her Swiss husband and daughter.”
We must think of our manners in the way that we dress. The way that we carry ourselves, is a form of manners. The way that we smell, is a form of manners.
Are you warm, and friendly? Do you greet people in your neighborhood whilst you are out walking your dog? Do you step to the side so you can share the sidewalk with oncoming traffic?
Do you see why manners still matter?
Some people think Etiquette to be quite outdated. However, the further I dive deeper into the topic, the more that I see that it makes a lot of practical sense in our day-to-day.
Keep your eye's peeled to this blog to hear more on Etiquette & Manners.
4. GREETINGS
Depending on where you are in the world, you may find varied ways in how you may greet one another.
Will you be giving a firm handshake? Or will that come across as cold?
Will you be going in for a hug? Or will that come across as overbearing?
Will you go in for a kiss, and which cheek will you kiss? Or is it both?
Not to bring us back to the topic of Etiquette, but, understanding the Etiquette of where you are, will clear this confusion.
5. EYE-CONTACT
Are you someone who looks at people when they are talking to you? I want you to picture this, have you ever seen The Royal Family when they are out talking with people?
The way in which they practice eye contact is totally captivating. Equally, they always are looking as though they are totally captivated, & intrigued by whoever is speaking.
Regardless of if they are being spoken to about Eggs or if they are being spoken to about great political matters. The Royal Family will always exercise perfect eye contact, which conveys that they are listening and are engaged.
When you are speaking with someone, try looking at them. Do not look at the floor.
When you are speaking with someone, listen to the words that they are saying, pause, and then proceed to speak.
We live in a day and age, where people are so quick to interject and share their opinion... They often don't listen to anything that you have said but were rather, were just thinking about how they will answer.
Active listening and eye contact make a great combination.
